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Is it worth it?

May 14th, 2008 at 12:49 pm

In about 2 weeks from now, my niece will be having a birthday of sorts. I say, "of sorts" because she was born early, lived for a 30 minutes and died. I never even got to hold her warm body. She was the first kid of any of my brothers and sisters, and was much anticipated.
I spoil my husband's nieces and nephews, and love spending time with them. I love buying them things, and having fun with them. I never got to do that for my niece. I got rid of the clothes I had her bought her because they made me cry everytime I saw them.
I had all these plans and they all ended up not happening. The only thing I do every year is to buy a big thing of flowers and take them up there on the day before. That way, my sister sees them and knows someone else was thinking of her. However, I had a coworker question why I would spend that much on a babe that wasn't mine, and it made me wonder if I should. Is there somethings where it doesn't matter even if someone else thinks it a stupid expense? I don't know. I guess after 6 years it shouldn't but it still does.

7 Responses to “Is it worth it?”

  1. cashqueen Says:

    While I wouldn't classify the expense as a 'necessity' I think that it is a lovely gesture. If it brings emotional comfort to you and your sister and is not causing huge havoc with your budget, I don't see why you 'shouldn't' do it. If the expense is bothering you, perhaps you could scale it down a little.

  2. mooshocker Says:

    To question honoring this child of God is sad. This child, although with us for 30 minutes, I would assume brought a lot of hope and unity to your family. Honoring her memory is the gift she gave you, time to spend with your sister and a lovely gesture of flowers. God bless.

  3. miclason Says:

    hmm...not yours?...all those other nephews and nieces aren't "yours" either!...either that or they all (including this little niece) ARE yours...

    I agree, it is a lovely gesture that brings comfort to you and your sister, and honors the love you had/have/would have had for that child: she was loved, whether she was in this world for 30 minutes or 30 years.
    On this type of matters, follow your heart, and don't mind what others tell you.

  4. koppur Says:

    if it makes your sister feel good, then go for it. screw other people who don't get that

  5. frugaltexan75 Says:

    I agree with the others. This is your way of honoring the memory of your sister's child. IF this brings you a measure of comfort, and also brings your sister a measure of comfort, then there is NO reason for you to not do it.

  6. snoopycool Says:

    I would continue on. Don't worry about coworker's comments.

  7. FrugalFish Says:

    It seems to me that your lovely gesture is really mostly for your sister. I think it's a beautiful thing to do and would continue doing it.

    I suspect that your sister will forever associate herself as the mother of this lost child (and mourn on some level), whether she talks about her much or not. Your tribute to your niece and sister may be more appreciated than you know.

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