In about 2 weeks from now, my niece will be having a birthday of sorts. I say, "of sorts" because she was born early, lived for a 30 minutes and died. I never even got to hold her warm body. She was the first kid of any of my brothers and sisters, and was much anticipated.
I spoil my husband's nieces and nephews, and love spending time with them. I love buying them things, and having fun with them. I never got to do that for my niece. I got rid of the clothes I had her bought her because they made me cry everytime I saw them.
I had all these plans and they all ended up not happening. The only thing I do every year is to buy a big thing of flowers and take them up there on the day before. That way, my sister sees them and knows someone else was thinking of her. However, I had a coworker question why I would spend that much on a babe that wasn't mine, and it made me wonder if I should. Is there somethings where it doesn't matter even if someone else thinks it a stupid expense? I don't know. I guess after 6 years it shouldn't but it still does.
Is it worth it?
May 14th, 2008 at 07:49 pm
May 14th, 2008 at 08:00 pm 1210795207
May 14th, 2008 at 08:23 pm 1210796582
May 14th, 2008 at 08:30 pm 1210797058
I agree, it is a lovely gesture that brings comfort to you and your sister, and honors the love you had/have/would have had for that child: she was loved, whether she was in this world for 30 minutes or 30 years.
On this type of matters, follow your heart, and don't mind what others tell you.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:32 pm 1210804379
May 15th, 2008 at 02:28 am 1210818489
May 15th, 2008 at 05:49 pm 1210873795
May 15th, 2008 at 07:59 pm 1210881573
I suspect that your sister will forever associate herself as the mother of this lost child (and mourn on some level), whether she talks about her much or not. Your tribute to your niece and sister may be more appreciated than you know.